I worked that checklist of mine 4 out of 7 days last week and I am going to call it a win.  If this is the beginning (again) then that means I am already ahead of the game by starting last week with some new daily habits, like tracking my food to see what happening there (instead of just mindlessly eating whatever and whenever).

Here’s to just doing a bit better this week.

I had to (re)learn a few things this week.  For one, I am very goal orientated, (okay, I’ll say it, I’m dopamine dominant).  NOT setting goals (short and long term), NOT having a daily checklist of tasks I want to complete, NOT striving to accomplish something in particular, yeah, definitely does NOT work for me.

For that last 6 months, I haven’t been following a checklist (or any consistent routine).  But I know checklists work for me.  In the last ten years, I have accomplished more than I thought I could.  But I know that I could not have worked at a job, gone to school, stayed married (marriage takes attention and work too), kept my weight and health within a variable but acceptable range, and kept a reasonably clean house, without my daily and weekly checklists.  And because I haven’t been doing what I know works, my weight and health are slipping out of a range that is acceptable to me.

Time to set some goals so I can celebrate little wins.

Time to start a checklist, daily, weekly, and long-term tasks to complete.

Time to celebrate little wins with rewards other than food.  For me, there is enough reward in just completing something.  My reward is fulfilling a promise I make to myself.  It feels so much better to fulfill a promise, than to be letting myself down. I love taking pictures, (I am always younger today than I will be tomorrow, so I need to capture this moment in time), so I will reward myself with a great picture at Christmas, and great pictures in the new year too.

I am actually super excited to be starting another 12 weeks.  I am going to count forward this time, because the counting weeks will not stop this time.  Into the new year, and all next year, I will be showing up, getting things done, and starting to love life again.  I cannot wait to check it all off my list!

Maybe it’s the weather change, but my motivation is low.  And yet, I have moments in the day where I get a surge of positivity, and rush of hope, and I know that these moody days will pass.  I will get through this mini-funk I am in.

How we say things matters.  I know longer tell myself to lose weight to “look better.”  Lose weight if you want, for whatever reason you want.   But I tell myself to lose my bit of excess weight because it will mean I am making positive steps towards maintaining better health overall (the big picture).  Healthy food choices and moving a bit more, (with the cold weather I have been moving less, not more), usually takes the numbers on the scale down, which would be really nice to do before Christmas.  😊

Okay, I’m not sure if I have wholly convinced myself just yet, but I am trying.

I didn’t really feel like blogging.  And I suppose part of the reason for that is part of me doesn’t feel like “dieting.”

But its not really dieting that I am doing.  I remember what it was like to be out of shape and in pain walking for too long.  So, its not exactly dieting, its intentionally choosing foods that are good for me, (and then I end up feeling good, instead of sluggish or having a sugar hangover).  And its intentionally moving my body more, to ensure I can do the things I want to do (like walk around a ghost town for 3 hours) when I want to do them.

Losing some weight will be a nice side effect of all that intention.

4 weeks to go, and then I am going to continue to do this, because I do not want to gain any weight over Christmas.  For me, the key to accomplishing no weight gain over Christmas is to keep paying attention, and weekly blogging helps!  I think I have formed some good habits, and I want to keep them.

Well, I didn’t hit 50 kms walked in the month of October, just 45 kms instead, but I also walked at other times that I didn’t track on my RunKeeper app.

The Ghost Town we went to on Sunday night at Three Valley Gap was amazing.  And even though I am not doing that great, (if I only measure in terms of weight loss), I still appreciate that I move my body more than I used to, and I could walk around the ghost town (and up and down some narrow sets of stairs in old buildings here and there) without too much trouble.  There was a time when I was a lot younger than now, when I was so out of shape that three hours of walking around would have been painful and exhausting.

I am still here, I am still working on my health.

Picture taken on Mount Revelstoke, October 8, 2022

Maybe I like my Calvin Klein jeans so much because they have spandex in them.  Yeah, I said spandex!

The opposite of spandex is leather. 

There is nothing more unforgiving with a little weight gain than leather.  I actually turned down a few weekend motorcycle rides because I was afraid with the couple extra pounds I gained lately, (to add to the couple extra pounds I already had), were enough to make me uncomfortable on our motorcycle and in my leather motorcycle gear. 

I am happy to report I was wrong, I still fit into the gear. Thank goodness, because I loved the rides we have now been taking in this beautiful fall weather.  Luckily, tracking my progress with weekly blog posts for these 12 weeks, and for the 12 weeks before this, has been keeping me accountable, and I am holding steady enough that I could still fit the gear, even though I was afraid I wouldn’t.  I haven’t lost a phenomenal amount of weight, but I am not gaining either.  What a win!  And I am still consistently walking more than I did back in August, heading towards beating September’s kilometers walk as well. 

Here’s to not hiding from the world and missing out on activities because of our weight.  Here’s instead to prioritizing health and fun activities, and good food and exercise decisions certainly help with that.

OMG, this is so true.  The same number on the scale, but a totally different feeling.  And this happens at goal weight too!  And it will sabotage us if we let it.

My advice (to myself) is to seek out as much body positivity as possible until I start to “feel” better regardless of anything else, like these articles here and here. I can feel better if I just let myself.

It can also help me to put on a favorite outfit, one we all have in the closet that makes us feel good at any weight.  And if you don’t have any outfits in your closet that make you feel good, then get down to the nearest value village or thrift store and find one!  Who cares about the size, I feel great in Calvin Klein jeans even when they are size 14 instead of 10 or 8, (I don’t know why, I just do).  Find what clothes work for you.  And it will help with the mental game that is a part of putting you and your health first in your decisions about food and exercise.

I’ve said it before, I judge myself far more harshly than I would judge anyone else!  Why is that?  Why do I forgive everyone (including Thor) for gaining a little weight when life goes sideways, except I don’t forgive myself?

I am working on that.  I did walk 40 kms in September, planning for 50 in October.

My mom gave me her typewriter and a typing book when I was about 12 years old, and ever since then I have loved putting my words-thoughts down on paper in the same typeface I saw every time I read a book.  For me, typing is the only way to be a writer.

But this blog is about fighting to stay at a healthy weight and feel right-sized for what my definition of “right-sized” is, not about writing (or typing).  And it is obviously not about good writing, hence ending the previous sentence with a preposition.

I am still making progress in the second part of this weight loss journey to my best health that I am on.  I am not gaining excessively like I did when 10 pounds found its way onto my body in just a couple short weeks.  I am holding steady, (I went down a bit, then back up a bit, to end up at pretty much the same place).  And this month my goal is to once again hit 40 kms walked in September (like in May) which will certain be an improvement on last month’s 31 kms.

The ride goes on.